WHEN PASSION IS A HINDRANCE TO MEANINGFUL WORK
How my understanding of work and coaching changed this week
If you’re one of those people who hates suspense, here’s this article’s main idea:
Sometimes people manage to find jobs and careers they’re "passionate" about—most don't. Limiting yourself to this standard can be a real hindrance to finding meaningful work.
Before I publish an article on Substack, I usually ask my wife Florence for feedback. After reading this one, she asked me to send it to our 20something kids.
That’s a first.
MY CLIENT JACK’S PIVOT
There are moments at work when we encounter something that feels transformative. If we choose to pay attention, it can leave a lasting impact on our understanding of how we perform our jobs. These profound turning points can shift our perceptions and change our behavior.
This week, I experienced such a moment and it was completely unexpected. It involved my work with a career development client—let’s call him Jack. Jack came to me more than a year ago looking to jump-start a new career. He had recently gone back to school and completed a technical degree. He was in his late 20s and living with his parents. And while his parents were supportive, they were a little skeptical of his professional direction and a little tired of funding his life.
For a little over a year, I supported Jack’s ambition to transition to a totally new career. A career he really seemed passionate about pursuing and capable of succeeding in. Through our weekly and semi-monthly conversations, it became more clear to me that what mattered most to Jack was establishing a life, independent of his parents, where he could stand on his own two feet and feel like a responsible adult.
Two months ago, Jack accepted a job. His enthusiasm for the job was powerful and I could see the relief in his eyes. This was his ticket to building a new life, as an independent person, in another state, working with people his own age. It was a job he knew he could perform well and the package was exactly what he needed.
The role, the company and the industry were 100% outside of the original job he was pursuing. That’s right—for months we had worked on positioning him for an entry-level position in this new vocation: we co-created his resume, wrote cover letters, developed his portfolio, worked on his networking skills and I coached him on his interviewing skills. And he networked well, built positive relationships with people in the field and learned more about the career path. At so many points this past year, he appeared close to breaking through. The biggest barrier: more layoffs than new postings.
But a few months ago, I could see that something changed in Jack’s mind. Sure, this new vocation really tapped into his creative talents and interests. Jack, however, realized something very important: that launching his adult life was even more important then a job in his new field. He wanted to earn enough income, work with others his own age, and feel better about himself.
He started the job a few weeks ago and I reached out to see how things were going. Here’s what he sent me:
"Work is already rewarding and engaging. I’m on multiple clients already and working hard everyday...the office environment is great. It’s professional, but relaxed and fun. My team is all around my age…I can’t thank you enough! I know this wasn’t the role/industry we originally worked on, but your support was crucial for me… helped me to understand where I was going and what I needed to do to get there.”
A WHOLE PERSON PERSPECTIVE ON WORK
For years now, career development has focussed on following our passions. How may times have you heard a wise person tell you to “do what you love, follow your passion”? But this raises a question: what do we mean by “passion” and is it really that straight forward to know our true “passion” in the workplace?
At some point, I began to wonder if this idea of finding a true passion was an advantage or a hinderance. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve coached who believe that their inability to discover their true passion means there is something wrong with them.
To guide ourselves to the right job or career, we need a more nuanced understanding of how our work fits into our desire for a healthy and fulfilling life. This starts with the most basic question: what is “work?” Work is an activity that requires our energy. When we garden, we work. When we paint a house, we work. When we coach our kid’s sandlot soccer team, we work. When we go to our “workplace” we are presumed to work.
What all these activities have in common is we allocate our finite energy—these are “debits” from our fixed body budget. When we deploy our energy in areas that make us feel good, we feel centered and balanced. We are living the life we wanted. However, when our energy is used to manage sustained stress because we’re not choosing the life we want, we break down physically and feel unhappy.
So we have a real interest in avoiding work that fuels chronic stress, even if it means meeting the expectations of a loved ones or achieving high social status in the community. And this avoiding relates to the choices we make in our careers.
By the way: not all stress is unhealthy. Acute stress, when we’re engaged in a taxing activity, helps us accomplish something meaningful to us. Chronic stress, however, is unhealthy, and leads to what today we call “burnout.”
This raises a very important question: using the conventional definition of work in American culture, how does “work” fit into our lives? In others words, why do we work? How does work affect how balanced and centered we feel? How do I balance the tension between authenticity and what my social group e.g. parents think is the work for me?
WHY WE WORK
The blend of motivations for working are as variable as the leaves in the forest. We can safely say that all of us work because it brings us some meaning. What we mean by “meaning” is unique to each of us. This meaning can vary by socio-economic class, family values, general education, and the general culture in which we’ve lived our lives.
Think about early adolescence. Maybe you played a lot of baseball. Or you figure skated. Others chose to draw and paint. Still others learned to swim and played a lot of tennis because their families belonged to a country club and wanted them to fit into the social scene (although they preferred playing ping pong).
Mostly, we chose activities because they gave us meaning. In some cases, we did activities to please our parents. This is where that tension, between authenticity and attachment plays out. And if we find ourselves working on things that give us no meaning, besides winning the approval of our parents, we can lose track of who we are.
In my experience, there are really five motivations that lead people to choose their life’s work:
Funding. That’s right, the vast majority of us work to earn income and accumulate wealth—to pay current and future bills and sustain a desired lifestyle.
Dignity. When we contribute positively to our workplace and this contribution is recognized, we feel we matter. At an emotional level, feelings of safety begin with dignity. When we see our positive impact on something, we feel good about ourselves, and again, we feel like we matter.
Status. In US culture, our identity is colored by our work and occupational prestige influences other’s perceptions of our social class. When work is a job that our local community perceives as prestigious, we feel special.
Fun. The workplace is a social institution. Working with others who share our values, finding moments of levity and play fuel positive feelings.
Values. We like to work with people who share our values. Some are driven to make contributions aligned with their strong beliefs. Never underestimate the importance of the workplace as a social institution.
CHOOSING WHERE TO DEPLOY OUR ENERGY
By now, you may notice that there’s no mention of “passion” up above. Perhaps the closest thing to passion is “Values” or “Fun.” You may also wonder about the "Funding” motivation. When does “funding” end and “Status” begin? How do we deal with trade-offs between “Values” and “Status” and “Values” and “Funding?
The truth is, only you can know what brings you meaning and which factors are most important in the work you choose. This means disentangling what you think the outside world wants you to be and building your awareness of what’s most important to you. Don’t get me wrong: we live with the outside world, and some alignment/integration can be meaningful. But often, your choice has little to do with passion.
Some people find jobs they’re passionate about—but to limit yourself to this consideration, in my view, is a mistake.
EMOTIONS AND COGNITION
So how do we figure out what we really want? Disentangling all the factors that shape our work choices sounds straight forward. Unfortunately, the interplay between our emotional signals and our thinking is filled with “oughts” and “shoulds.”
One approach to recognizing and mobilizing for what we really want is proposed by Richard Boyatzis, a professor of Organizational Behavior, Psychology, and Cognitive Science at Case Western Reserve University. Through his clinical studies with MRI technology, Boyatzis has demonstrated that resistance and blind spots limit personal growth. To overcome this, he recommends coaching based on “real self” and “ideal self” concepts.
According to Boyatzis, effective coaching enables individuals to “dream” about their “ideal self” and become aware of their “real self.” By building awareness of the gap between their vision of their ideal self and where they are today, the individual can mobilize for real change. This approach is consistent with the Paradox of Change, a foundation of Gestalt-infused coaching. Based on this principle, change is not possible until an individual accepts who they are currently.
BOTTOM LINE
Choosing a job or a career is often confusing. There are many factors we become aware of through the interplay of our thoughts and emotions. It can feel like a ball of confusion. Seeing through the noise, finding the courage to confront resistance, broadening the options and discovering blind spots, is the key to finding work that is meaningful. And what’s meaningful is always unique to each individual.
ABOUT ME
After a 30+ year career as a marketing executive and CEO, in the US and Europe, I now coach many clients interested in growing their leadership effectiveness and advancing their career.
Please email me at dehrenthal@mach10career.com or give me a ring at 617-529-8795 if you want to talk.